Modern Times Bad Connection

"MODERN TIMES"

BAD CONNECTION

Lloyd Garver

My family and I recently got something for our computers called DSL. DSL stands for Digital Subscriber Line. The idea is that instead of waiting the 20 seconds or so for your modem to dial up an Internet connection, your computer is always online. Imagine how your life could be improved by having that extra 20 seconds to do whatever you want.

DSL doesn't only get you online faster. Once you're there, it does everything faster. DSL and its assorted fast cousins are supposed to free up more of our time. They said the same thing when personal computers came out: "Whether you use it to write, to pay bills, or for homework -- it'll be so much faster than the old-fashioned way. You'll have more free time than ever." That was just misleading propaganda. If you don't believe me, compare the amount of time you used to spend at your typewriter or at your desk to the amount of time you now spend in front of your computer. Which system gives you more free time?

Before I had DSL, there were times when I would actually decide not to go online. I'd think, "I don't really need to send that e-mail to that guy I haven't seen since high school right now," or "It's not that important for me to look up the history of drinking fountains in Uruguay tonight," etc. But now that it's so easy, I'm online all the time. In other words, now I can get online faster and stay there longer to do things I really don't need to do anyway.

Two events made this DSL thing even more of a disaster for me. Like the majority of people in this country, I own some stocks. Unfortunately, the week I inputted them onto my computer happened to coincide with the moment the stock market decided it had gone up long enough, and now it would like to go down for a while. I can see the changes in my life savings every few seconds if I want just by clicking my mouse. Who could resist that?

The other event was our son going off to college. College kids don't communicate by letter anymore. They communicate by grunts and e-mail. So, once I had DSL, I could check to see if he had written us anytime I felt like it. Back when I was in college, if I wrote my parents because I was upset about a girl, a teacher, or a roommate, by the time they got the mail, I had often solved the problem myself. Now we get the e-mail instantly. He is as capable of solving his problems in the same time -- or quicker -- than I could, but a neurotic parent using today's technology often doesn't give him the chance to do so.

So, it's very hard for me to walk past our computer without checking on our money or our son. Or sports scores. Or the weather in cities that just pop into my mind. Or the lyrics to Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Down On The Corner." Or how many people in the world have my last name. I've tried to force myself to go online less, but what I really need is a schedule that I can stick to. Something that tells me exactly how many times and for how long I should be online. Maybe there's a computer program that can help me do that. What a great idea! Finally, I'm going to find a way to get away from the computer. I'll bet if I went online right now and surfed for a while, I could find out about a program just like that.