"MODERN
TIMES"
HARRIET'S ANSWERS
By
Lloyd Garver
The Senate Judiciary Committee has said that Harriet Miers' answers to their questionnaire were "incomplete, "unsatisfactory," "elliptical," and just plain "incorrect." Through a leak from a source I can't name, I received a copy of what is purported to be her questionnaire. I will never reveal this source unless I'm threatened with jail or if anyone yells at me. I don't know if this document is really legitimate, but I feel it's my duty to share it with you. Perhaps you, the public, should decide if it's truly a copy of the actual questionnaire.
NAME: Harriet____________
Q: Considering your
relationship with the President, under what circumstances would you recuse
yourself from cases involving the Administration?
A: Don't mean to be picky,
but I think you made a spelling mistake. There's no such word as
"recuse." You obviously meant, "accuse."
Q: As a woman on the court,
would you feel a special responsibility to deal with women's issues, or do you
feel that it would be your duty to concentrate equally on issues that affect
everyone?
A: That is an excellent
question – the kind of question I like to roll up my sleeves and take a bite
out of. I am both a person and a woman, and while I do feel a certain kinship
to others of my gender, I also feel I'm part of the great human family. I also
consider myself a "lady," and I don't really think it would be
ladylike of me to go into any more details about this issue.
Q: What are your feelings
about the separation of Church and State?
A: I have always felt that
government should stay out of religion.
Q: At what age were you
admitted to the bar?
A: 21, but I'm not much of a
drinker.
Q: Even though it's not
specifically stated in the
Constitution, do you think it guarantees everyone the "right of
privacy?"
A: I'd love to answer that question, but to do so would invade my
privacy.
Q: Without violating
attorney-client privileges, was there anything that you learned from President
Bush that would make it inappropriate for you to be a Justice?
A: President Bush is the
smartest and coolest man I've ever met.
Q: Because of your lack of
judicial experience, we'd like to know, is there any judge whom you admire and
whom you might model yourself after?
A: I like Judge Judy.
Q: In what way do you think
you would positively contribute to the makeup of the Supreme Court?
A: I look good in black. But
not as good as Laura, of course.
Q: Are there any words of
wisdom that inspire you?
A: "Don't Mess With Texas."
Q: What quality would you
bring to the bench that other judges might lack?
A: Well, I'm very
nonjudgmental.
Q: Since Roe Vs. Wade was
decided by the Supreme Court, would you say that issue has been dealt with and
therefore should remain the law of the land?
A: Another typo or spelling
mistake. It's Karl Rove, not Roe.
Q: Would you call yourself a
"strict constructionist?"
A: No, I'm an Evangelical.
Q: Are there things you
still want to accomplish in your life that serving on the Supreme Court might
prevent you from doing?
A: I'll just do them after
I finish on the Supreme Court. It's not like it's for life.